What the hell is this?

I Can't Stand [Meeting] You is a collection of all the ridiculous things I've written to and about drummer and composer Stewart Copeland.

I actually did meet him for about five crazy seconds in 2007, again for a few exciting moments in August 2009, and my most recent (and most thrilling!) encounter took place in October 2009, where I proved myself capable of being, yet again, a total dork in the man's presence.

I can't believe what I get up to. And neither should you.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Dear Stewart Copeland,

Dear Mr. Copeland,

I've addressed you twice because the subject line was there and I didn't want there to be any confusion about what this is. To clarify, this is a letter. A letter from me, to you. Also, I like calling you "dear." Dear, Mr. Copeland. Dear, dear Mr. Copeland...

OK, see, look, I've already gotten distracted. Let's start again, shall we?

Dear Mr. Copeland,

May I call you Stewart? For the purposes of my imagination (and to satisfy my readers), I'm going to assume you said "yes."

Hi! How are you?

I have started many letters and emails to many people over the years with those two sentences, and though it may be unoriginal and banal (Merriamwebster.com lists three pronunciations for this word. I think the first one is the most charming. It almost rhymes with "atoll," which is another word I like very much. Well, the first pronunciation of "atoll;" there are two), I really do wish to say "Hi" to you, and to inquire as to your well-being. I hope you will have an answer for me, soon.

If you're wondering who I am and why I'm writing to you today - I am a fan. Not a crazed, psycho fan (I swear, no matter what Jeff Schwartz might have to say on this topic). I am a perfectly normal fan, who had the pleasure of meeting you for five minutes two years ago at Guitar Center, Hollywood. At that time I was struck dumb by your presence. I assure you, I am not dumb (this letter to the contrary). I'm writing to you because my husband and I are going to see you tomorrow at SummerFest in San Diego, and we're very excited about it. I can be honest with you, right Mr. Copeland? I mean Stewart? My husband is perhaps not as excited about it as I am. Oh, don't get me wrong: he loves music and is a drummer himself. But I may have taken excitement about seeing you and hearing you play to a new level. A level that he just can't attain.

It's okay, though. We have had a long, happy marriage (11 years this past April) and he is very understanding.

Anyway, as I was saying, Patrick and I are excited about tomorrow, and I would like to ask you a favor.

Should you, at any point you are on stage, when you're not too busy playing or conducting or whatever it is you're exactly going to be doing, decide to wave at the audience, would you please do it in the direction of seats E11 and 13 (Orchestra Right)?

Love you,
Thank you,
Irene Palma

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