What the hell is this?

I Can't Stand [Meeting] You is a collection of all the ridiculous things I've written to and about drummer and composer Stewart Copeland.

I actually did meet him for about five crazy seconds in 2007, again for a few exciting moments in August 2009, and my most recent (and most thrilling!) encounter took place in October 2009, where I proved myself capable of being, yet again, a total dork in the man's presence.

I can't believe what I get up to. And neither should you.

Friday, June 1, 2007

What can I do? All I want is to be next to you! (Next to you, next to you!)

So by now, everybody has seen or heard about the blog entry wherein Stewart Copeland rags on himself and his bandmates, their playing skills, mocks Sting's footwork, mentions Andy's apparent ability to astral project himself into Idaho (and out by half a bar most of the time; I guess manipulating time and space isn't an exact science yet for Andy) and the fact that none of them can hear each other (or is it that none of them can listen?)... and I would like to point out that these were comments that Patrick and I both made when we watched the Roxanne reunion on the Grammys in February.

My only comment now is: whatever. Look: they're kind of old. I mean, not Rolling Stones old (well, Andy's getting up there), but they haven't done this in ages. Sure expectations are high because at some point they were "the greatest band in the world" (to quote Stewart himself) but like everything, you can only improve with time. And they've got 22 days to perfect the show before I see them from my seat atop Dodger Stadium. Go for it, dudes!

Maybe somewhere between now and then, Stewart will lose the headband and that horrible, horrible shirt. Jeez. What is it with that guy? Is he wearing the tiny shorts and tube socks under there, too? And don't even get me started on the hair. White is not blond and never will be.

I also got a look today at the set list, and wow, I know that practically every song they had was a hit, but way to lead with the strong songs, guys! "And the hits just keep coming" seems really appropriate here. I would LOVE to see them add "Demolition Man," and my personal favorite, "No Time This Time," and I really hope they've found a more satisfying ending to "Next To You" than what I've seen in the past on video, but still: I'm really, really getting excited about June 23.

Also in the news is a report that they're going to play on MTV's newly revived "Unplugged" show... I remember when this show started, being really excited about seeing certain bands (The Cure, Elvis Costello, and Paul McCartney were events for me and my friends) play acoustic sets on those beautiful Indian rugs, but as time went on, maybe around the time I saw Nirvana doing their thing, I just stopped being interested. It seemed instead like the bands saw it as an opportunity to break out the tablas, congas and the shakers and kumbaya their way through weak versions of their songs, and I was done. I'm afraid the Police, what with Sting's horrible pseudo-jazz leanings (see the mid-portion of Roxanne from the Grammys appearance), will come up with some really lame, muddy, New Age arrangements, and I'm not sure if I want to see that. Hey: I'll watch but I reserve my right to be critical and/or to love it all at the same time.

And in other news... I saw a commercial for KFC yesterday announcing that their chicken is now "trans fat free" and all I've been thinking about for the past couple days is hooking up with some. Me and a two-piece meal: oh, the guilt! But what fun.

Must resist.

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