What the hell is this?

I Can't Stand [Meeting] You is a collection of all the ridiculous things I've written to and about drummer and composer Stewart Copeland.

I actually did meet him for about five crazy seconds in 2007, again for a few exciting moments in August 2009, and my most recent (and most thrilling!) encounter took place in October 2009, where I proved myself capable of being, yet again, a total dork in the man's presence.

I can't believe what I get up to. And neither should you.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Boogie with Stew(art)

The other day I was doing my quarterly search on You Tube for any new Stewart Copeland-related videos.

(I perform this search regularly, but am actually unsure of the frequency. I used the word "quarterly" above, maybe for [unrealized] comic effect, but the truth is, it might be bi-monthly. Possibly simply "monthly." Or maybe even weekly. Absolutely not "daily." Perhaps "periodic" would have been more [or less] precise. I don't really know, I don't keep track.)

There wasn't much. There seems to be a glut of people putting together slide shows using readily available, collected from the Internet, old photos of My Man, and various well-known and lesser-known Police songs ("A Sermon," for example). Yeah, um, don't think I haven't considered making one of these of my own; what's stopped me is the realization that Perpetrating Cheese Like That Is Fatal.

The other thing I don't need to watch ever again are the "Spyro the Dragon" videos, complete with Stewart Copeland soundtrack. Sorry. Not my thing.

So instead, I look for new or new-old interviews or the rare live performances I haven't seen (there's that time he sat in with a Police cover band [awesome!], or the Spanish language interviews about Ben Hur Live! <--I'm not sure if the Ben Hur Live event utilizes an exclamation point... but it should), or re-watch his interviews with Jools Holland or the "Don't Box Me In" video, and try to satisfy myself with stuff like that. Last week I found a very funny video (link later. I can't access You Tube right now) that was about 15 or 20 minutes long. I should watch it again; I might have some details wrong. I haven't decided yet if it's a scam or what. Some guy was on the beach in, I think, Santa Monica, filming a woman in a spandex outfit. He was some distance away from her, and zoomed in, so it was not the greatest quality. What got me to click on this was that he had put a very descriptive description (which of course now I can't remember or access... detailed details later) which included the words "Stewart Copeland." I happened to have 15 minutes to kill (actually I had the video playing on one screen and whatever else I was doing, probably playing Scrabble, on another), so I sat there and sort of watched it. The woman in spandex was standing on the sand, watching the surfers.

Well. She wasn't really standing. Rather, she was hula-hooping. Is that the right way to describe it when someone is flailing around with a hula hoop? This was not rhythmic gymnastics here; she was playing with a hula hoop. She was wearing her black or blue outfit, she looked about my age or older, but fit; she had long fuzzy hair, and she was rocking out with a hula hoop. Not just standing there swaying her hips, she was jumping around, hopping on one leg or the other, clapping her hands. She may have been possessed by the Lord - it looked very similar to the antics I witnessed many years ago at my mom's old church, when Jesus touched someone (or someone was just "touched"). She kind of looked like one of my Middle School PE teachers (I could never tell Ms. Nestande from Ms. Tuggle, and they looked nothing alike; neither one liked me much, possibly because I hated PE and came up with many not very original reasons to not "dress out"). From the distance the guy was filming her, it was unclear if she was listening to music; I hope she was.

So 15 minutes of this goes by, and she's bouncing around on the beach. There is not much commentary from the guy making the video. Apparently he thought just filming some lady jump and clap would be entertaining; he was kind of right. There was nothing sexy or salacious about it - but it was fun to watch. I almost wished I'd been there - I might've joined her. For a while I tried to figure out what she might be listening to: Foghat? P.J. Harvey? "Me-Jane" has a great beat. Britney Spears? There's no way to tell. Maybe it was Klark Kent's "Music Madness From the Kinetic Kid" - it would've been appropriate, and those are party songs! She wasn't particularly graceful; she wasn't dancing or telling a story - she was just feeling the music. Or if there was no music, then I don't know what the hell she was doing. It wasn't exactly spellbinding, but I was curious.

Finally, towards the end of the video, the man filming her (maybe he was waiting for her top to fall off) says something. Or someone says something - a voice is heard. The woman (who may not have had earphones on), stops or waves at someone (I really need to watch this video again). What the words spoken are, I don't know. But the picture changes. The camera points down at the sand, and then to the left. The movements are jerky and uneven - a cut could've been made at this point. And suddenly the camera focuses on a man on a bike, wearing a green helmet (Stewart, your favorite color is green. We get it), and the guy with the camera goes, Hey! That was Stewart Copeland!

There's no way to be absolutely sure. Yes, the green helmet is a clue. But I never got a good look at his (lovely) face, and so all I have to go on are the stated words of the guy who thought filming a woman hula hoop on the beach for 15 minutes would be interesting to people.

For awhile after I watched the video, I thought, hello! I am going to determine exactly where this was filmed and get my ass down there one Friday morning when I've got nothing better to do. And then I thought, and I'm going to take my hula hoop with me! And then I thought,

What in the world has gotten into you, girl?

Still. It's a good idea.


I just googled "hula hoop Santa Monica Stewart Copeland" and got this link http://mog.com/music/Jesca_Hoop/Kismet which I can't click on right now. If you can, leave a comment and tell me what it is and I will love you forever with a flame slightly less than that of which I love Stewart Copeland.

Hey, "slightly less" is still pretty significant.

Whatever it is, I think this ship sailed in 2006 and I missed out on it. Still, I can check her out, Jessica Hoop. Might be something there.

Ask.com give the following http://www.ask.com/music/discography/Jesca-Hoop/972420, so if the other link is the same info, never mind.

And finally, I don't usually do this, but Stewart Copeland, if you have inadvertantly stumbled upon my blog during your own "Stewart Copeland" search, hello! Welcome! I'm not crazy! I love you!

xo, Irene

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