A letter to Stewart:

Dear Stewart Copeland,

I just paid iTunes 99 cents to make "Too Kool to Kalypso" a ringtone (what part of that not-quite-one-dollar fee goes to you, I wonder), and I just realized that now I finally have something in mind ahead of time to talk to you about when we meet (again) in just under two weeks, but which I'll write here rather than keep secret, because let's face it, you're not reading this shit anyway:

When is the rest of the Klark Kent stuff going to be available to download (legally)? and, Is that really you playing the kazoo on that song or did you hire professional kazoo players? and, If you hired professional kazoo players, where did you find them, and how much did you pay them?

(See, I find whenever I try to play the kazoo, it sounds like a hot mess. As a flutist, some people find it strange that I can't whistle, either. It's okay, though, because I have great embouchure. You, however, have managed to make magic. I guess that's why you're internationally famous and this blog has had just 219 visits since it's official debut in June, and I haven't had a gig in two years [not that I mind all that much].)

Actually, I don't really care about the kazoo players. I just want some Klark Kent on my iPod. So. Let's make that happen, okay, man? It won't be hard for you (or one of your minions) to find me to make the drop.

Now all I have to do is get someone to call me while I'm talking to you at Amoeba.

Love you Sincerely,
Irene