Dear Stewart,

Hello, my favorite imaginary friend!

It's been about three weeks since I last wrote to you. How are you? Did you have a nice birthday?

Nothing much on my end... I am now in the middle of my 14th week of pregnancy. It's been pretty smooth sailing so far - the "morning" sickness B.S. appears to be tapering off a little. I'm not as tired, but that could be because we've been going to bed earlier, and I've started taking an iron supplement along with my pre-natal vitamin. In previous weeks I'd been pretty much exhausted. And, I'm thinking a bit more about the food choices I make, which I think helps too. No maternity clothes yet but I have a feeling I am very, very close.

The only downside I would say is that I still don't really look pregnant. I feel like I just look fatter, and that's not a good place to be. I know I need to re-evaluate the way I think about my body and what I expect for myself. Does that make sense? I got on the scale the other day, and realized that my weight right now is about what it was about 8 years ago when I was the heaviest I'd ever been. I then lost 25 pounds on Weight Watchers and boy did I feel like a million bucks. I hadn't been that size since right after high school! There's an upside and a downside to everything, I guess. I just don't want either the weight or the way I feel about it to get out of control. Even though I know that I'm having a baby and I have to gain weight, I can see that my thinking about the weight gain could easily become Not Right.

I've had some time off from the theater stuff for a while now... the next show opens September 17 and runs through November. I don't start rehearsing with them until about the week before opening. This will probably be my last show with City Garage (I'm pretty sure I can't be nursing a baby in the booth), so if you're looking for a good time to use that Passport I gave you at Amoeba... well, this would be it. I would really, really love to meet you again. Just to reiterate what I'm sure I've said before: I'm not crazy! The purpose these letters serve is to give me a safe place to write about stuff I don't always feel comfortable about talking about on my other blog. I can address you like I would anyone I admire, and not share too much. Over there, I'm supposed to let it all hang out... and some things I'd rather not treat that way.

If you think I tell you overly personal things now, just imagine what I keep back!

Love you,
Irene